Being childless not by choice can be a difficult and emotional journey. One of the biggest challenges that many involuntarily childless women face is societal pressure and judgment. This pressure can come from family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers, and can make an already difficult situation even more challenging.
Societal pressure and judgment can manifest in a variety of ways. Family and friends may constantly ask about when you plan to have children or make assumptions about why you don’t have children. Strangers may make rude comments or ask personal questions. Coworkers may not take your career aspirations seriously because you don’t have children. All of these situations can be incredibly hurtful and can make you feel like you are not good enough or that something is wrong with you.
Strategies to cope with societal pressure and judgment
Dealing with societal pressure and judgment can be difficult, but there are strategies that can help. Here are a few things that you can try:
1. Set boundaries
It is important to set boundaries with people who are pressuring or judging you. You do not have to answer personal questions or justify your choices to anyone. It is okay to tell people that you do not want to discuss your childlessness or that their comments are hurtful. Want to dive a bit deeper into this topic? Read my blog about how to set boundaries with love.
2. Surround yourself with supportive people
Surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and understanding can make a huge difference. This can be friends, family, or support groups specifically for childless individuals. Having people who understand what you are going through can provide much-needed emotional support. And if you have to deal with negative people who just aren’t going away, check out this blog written by my husband.
3. Practice self-care
Taking care of yourself is essential when dealing with societal pressure and judgment. This can include things like exercise, meditation, and therapy. Taking care of yourself can help you to feel better and more resilient in the face of negative comments. Maybe my free masterclass ”How to accept what you cannot change” might help? You’ll be introduced to the A.C.C.E.P.T. model™ and learn 6 strategies to deal with this reality you cannot change.
4. Speak out
Speak out against societal pressure and judgment. Share your story and let people know that childlessness is not a choice. The more people know about it, the more understanding they will be. Fortunately society’s view and opinion of childlessness is slowly changing, and it’s not a topic that needs to be swept under the rug. It is important to talk about it and make sure that the people who are going through it, know that they are not alone, and that they are not a failure.
“Your worth as a person is not determined by whether or not you have children.”
It is important to remember that involuntarily childlessness is a difficult journey, but it does not have to define you. You can still have a fulfilling and meaningful life without children (trust me, I still find this hard to believe some days). By setting boundaries, surrounding yourself with supportive people, practicing self-care, and speaking out against societal pressure and judgment, you can make the journey a little easier. It is important to remember that your worth as a person is not determined by whether or not you have children, and that you should not be made to feel guilty or ashamed for it.
In conclusion, societal pressure and judgment can be a difficult and emotional journey for involuntarily childless women. And it’s important to seek professional help if needed. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to process your feelings and emotions, and can also help you develop coping strategies. Remember that you are not alone in this journey, and that there are others (like me) who understand what you are going through. Seek out support groups or online communities specifically for childless individuals, as they can provide a sense of community and understanding.
Or join me and a bunch of cool childless women on one of our adventures around the world. These are not regular retreats, this is an experience! And it’s unlike any other program out there, because I know that rebuilding your life being childless takes more than goal setting and visualisations.
Don’t go through this journey alone.
Remember that everyone’s journey is unique and that it is okay to grieve the loss of not having children. But it is also important to focus on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment in life. Whether it be a career, travel, hobbies, or building a family through other means, it is important to find ways to create a sense of purpose and fulfillment. You are worthy of love and happiness, regardless of whether or not you have children.
If you’re looking for an opportunity to reset, reconnect, and refocus in the company of like-minded women who understand the challenges of infertility and childlessness, I invite you to join our monthly CNBC Circle (it’s FREE!) Sign up here!
